Saturday, April 7, 2012

Old Conversation

The other day, I came across a conversation I had with somebody about a year ago, and I found it quite interesting and felt like sharing it:

Okay... like when it comes to relationships... all I see around me here are people in loving relationships that may or may not have God the center of things. And I see that and I get so impatient and upset with God. I desire so much a relationship with a man that is more concerned with my heart than with getting in my pants. Who is more concerned with helping to repair my heart than with his own selfish ambitions. I am to the point where I feel so beaten and broken from my past. And I have given those to god but I feel like those things will keep me from allowing my guard down ever again to any guy. And by doing that I feel like I will push away any guy that is ever willing to pursue me. I have a friend that’s been dating a guy for awhile but they are going through something so hard right now. I see the love they have and right now I am seeing the pain they are going through and I wonder if there will ever be anything worth fighting for again?...

I don’t know… the way I see it (and it hasn’t always been this way) is that we have to go through all the heartbreak and all the terrible stuff to figure out what we really want and need and how to deal with the pain and everything necessary in relationships. The main reason all that happens is because we just aren’t really ready for that right person yet. As much as we want it, if we got that right person now, we would most likely find a way to blow it. Honestly, I don’t know how we will know when the timing is right or when we are ready, but that’s the joy/terribleness of life! lol. Life is a mystery. We never know what is going to happen or when it’s going to happen. That’s why we need to be ready for whatever because we could miss out on something great if we’re not! And how are you gonna know if something is worth the risk unless you actually try it? That’s what I’m doing with basketball. There’s a chance that it could make me sicker, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Because I think it is worth it. I don’t know if that makes sense or not but that’s what I think about it right now.

Looking back at this conversation, I feel like I had some good things to say. Where would we be without the pain of our past at times. And we have to take chances sometimes, even if the outcome is unlikely.

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