Old Conversation

The other day, I came across a conversation I had with somebody about a year ago, and I found it quite interesting and felt like sharing it:

Girl:
Okay... like when it comes to relationships... all I see around me here are people in loving relationships that may or may not have God the center of things. And I see that and I get so impatient and upset with God. I desire so much a relationship with a man that is more concerned with my heart than with getting in my pants. Who is more concerned with helping to repair my heart than with his own selfish ambitions. I am to the point where I feel so beaten and broken from my past. And I have given those to god but I feel like those things will keep me from allowing my guard down ever again to any guy. And by doing that I feel like I will push away any guy that is ever willing to pursue me. I have a friend that’s been dating a guy for awhile but they are going through something so hard right now. I see the love they have and right now I am seeing the pain they are going through and I wonder if there will ever be anything worth fighting for again?...

Me:
I don’t know… the way I see it (and it hasn’t always been this way) is that we have to go through all the heartbreak and all the terrible stuff to figure out what we really want and need and how to deal with the pain and everything necessary in relationships. The main reason all that happens is because we just aren’t really ready for that right person yet. As much as we want it, if we got that right person now, we would most likely find a way to blow it. Honestly, I don’t know how we will know when the timing is right or when we are ready, but that’s the joy/terribleness of life! lol. Life is a mystery. We never know what is going to happen or when it’s going to happen. That’s why we need to be ready for whatever because we could miss out on something great if we’re not! And how are you gonna know if something is worth the risk unless you actually try it? That’s what I’m doing with basketball. There’s a chance that it could make me sicker, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. Because I think it is worth it. I don’t know if that makes sense or not but that’s what I think about it right now.

Looking back at this conversation, I feel like I had some good things to say. Where would we be without the pain of our past at times. And we have to take chances sometimes, even if the outcome is unlikely.

Random thoughts because it's been awhile

Lately, I have been thinking about how weird life is because nothing is like I thought it would be right now. The fact is, though, that life is always crazy, but if we knew what was going to happen, life would be boring! The more I thought about it, I realized that I am glad that life is so different because I am kinda boring on my own, so it’s better off if I just let life happen without trying to make everything happen my way. Besides, usually when I try to get everything to happen the way I think is best, I end up screwing it up by trying too hard.

I get so impatient about things. There are some things that I really look forward to in life, but there are other things that I know I am not going to want to end, like when friends graduate and move on with their lives. The thing I need to remember is that college is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I need to make the best of every little moment I have left of it. I want to be more adventurous. Sometimes I live life taking the safe path too much. I have the rest of my life to be responsible and make good decisions. When we are young, we need to make dumb decisions every once in a while! I will still be responsible of course, but I need to live in the moment and just embrace the life I am living and the opportunities I have been given.

The All-Knowing I

Why is it that we think we are always right? I say we because I assume that myself and all the other people that I see making this same silly mistake are not just coincidences. Yes, not everybody thinks they are right about everything. But I can confidently say that all of us have thought for sure we were right about something and ended up being wrong. I could even guess that this has happened recently for you. Or maybe you are beginning to understand a little bit that you possibly are not the smartest, wisest person under the sun.

The thing is that while sometimes this unfortunate misconception is not that big of a deal and we end up being wrong that Tim Duncan has better career rebounding statistics than Dennis Rodman (note: I was right about Dennis. An anonymous Spurs fan was wrong… sorry J). During times like these, you can use statistical proof to show the other person their fault. However, other times, more important times, you can’t quite as easily show a person that they are wrong. Times like when people want to get married really young. They may think that they know for a fact that they will always love this person and that they should get married right away because that will never change. The problem is that they don’t realize that some of the people telling them to wait and rethink their thoughts (i.e. their parents) may actually know something that they don’t. Maybe, just maybe, old people know stuff. What if one of your parents, or whoever else is trying to advise you, actually had the same experience when they were your age? What if they waited and found out they were glad they did? What if they learned something from those advising them?  Weird thought for a lot of young people, but it happens.

The thing that is scary, though, for the younger people today is that we think more than ever that we know better than everyone. Despite the fact that we have no prior experience to go off of other than the limited things we have experienced in our short immature lives, we think we know enough to make pretty much any decision on our own. What if this leads to our generation not taking the advice of those more experienced and understanding of our situation? What if this leads to us not waiting and finding out we wish we would have?

We live in a day where we have to learn from our own mistakes. I think this is a good thing, but it can be really bad if we think that it means we have to make the decisions on our own when we have no way of knowing what is best on our own.  So next time you are going to make a big decision (or a small one too for that matter), ask for some advice from somebody that would actually know something. Don’t be afraid to look silly because the people who really look silly are the ones that end up realizing too late that they were wrong.

Proverbs 19:20

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.”